A comeback.

Hello beautiful souls 💛

It has been a really longggggg time since my last post. I read through all my post again and realized that most of the time when I write, I write to empower myself. 

One of my 2019 resolution is to start blogging again to express myself through documentation in the form of writing.  

Just a life update from my previous post :

🌼 I am still not married and have no intention to get married anytime soon. Merely because I want to focus on myself. Last December, Syifa said "Farah haritu kau cakap mau kawin umur 27 kan. Tahun depan 26, kau mesti cari calon". No need to wait for real mak cik bawang. But this 8 years old girl ain't giving me pressure on this.

🌼All my GTS girls are married and I am totally happy for them. Just make sure your kids call me Aunty Gorgeous -- the name designated for your kids okay gais. No mak cik or babu please. If they can call me kakak is even better one.

🌼 I graduated my Degree in Bachelor of Environmental Health & Industrial Safety (Honor) from UKM in 2017.

🌼 I have been working for 1 year and 4 months now -- no more tanam-tanam ubi. My first job ever, not in my field of study but is in Tourism sector.  I have always wanted to try tourism and while applying for job in my field, I thought to be more flexible I should also apply for other field as well and this is what Allah has destined for me (as for now). I know some people questioned my decision and dislike my current job. Not sure if I should apologized for this but I am truly sorry that I did not live up to people's expectation (working in government sector or in my own field, or have 3-5k salary). To some people, I might be a failure and will live a stagnant life forever. I believe some of my friends also experienced this, was looked down for not having the job that people expect me to have and living my life up to their expectation. In a bright side, I want to see this in a positive way possible -- they knew that I am capable of a greater things in life but I am not living to my full potential. Just so you know that whatever I have gained in my life does not goes to waste. Instead, trying new things in life has add more values into it. 

So to whoever is in the same boat, just be patience and ignore negativity. Things in life are to be figured through time.

No amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee. -Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA).

Back to the present moment...

So, how's life?

Lately,  life has been more stress rather than happiness due to overwhelming workload.

But really, I think I am in no position to complaint because everyone else are also affected by the workload. I am just expressing this as a normal human being, I am also bound to this feeling -- tired.

Tried my best to be strong, because if I don't, nobody else is going to do it for me.

My working environment is the best work environment people could ever wish for. 
This is one of the reason why I don't totally hate going to work despite of the workload.
Why does this sounds like school 😂

I have been stress-eating and gained 3kg in less than 2 months which is as stressful as my workload. hahah.

Normally, I breakout when I feel stress. Pimples pops like there's no tomorrow.

Then I realize that when I stress-eating, it come out less. But that's the problem. 

This doesn't work anymore for now. I still have breakout and gaining weight.
Felt awful but that's okay. Skin can recover and weight can be lost (walaupun ini jarang sekali berlaku ya rakan-rakan tapi tidak mustahil cause last year I lost 6 kg but I have gained all the kg back. LOL)

So what keeps me going in this situation?

~As typical as it might sound, Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear.

~Everything that happen in life are teaching us a lesson and it require us to open our heart and mind to see it. 

~Bad things will past, I will survived and I will be a better human from it. 

~Every morning no matter how low my motivation is, I will say to myself "today is gonna be a good day". Even if it turned out challenging  😂

 ~While at work, when I feel like "I can't do this anymore", I took a moment to just breathe and tell myself  to "get yourself together. You are better than this". 

~Always remind myself that I have survived difficult situation and just like before, Allah will help me through it.

Maybe hope isn't as hard to find as we think. All I know is that sometimes, well after I thought it's left me, it just shows up. And all I have to do is to wake up, bathed in the simple newness of today's sunrise. - Emma Grace.

Nothing is permanent in this world - not even our troubles. So always have hope.

Be polite in your sadness, classy in your pain, and grateful amidst your tears; for sorrow - just like joy- is a gift from God. It will last only for a little while then depart carrying with it the details of its visit.

Last but not least, keep growing. Through the ups and down, keep growing.

p/s: Hope my motivation to write doesn't stop in this post. hahah